May Newsletter

MAY NEWSLETTER

(My past blog "Little Debi and the Ales Circus" is repeated in a section of my newsletter, but the rest of the content is new.)

Greetings from Hybe!! :-) Another month has passed in Hybe, and everything is looking quite green and fresh! All of the snow has melted, weather is warmer, and the gardens have been blooming! I don’t think I realized before how happy weather can make people feel, but I feel that it has definitely had an impact on me and the community here. May went by so quickly, and I get excited/somber thinking about how fast the summer and the rest of my time will go. May, for me, has been a month of progress in terms of coming to grips with my situation. Like I mentioned before, I have only a summer left here in Slovakia, and then I will be going home. This reality-check has given me a new-found energy (along with the beautiful weather, I think) in embracing my relationships with people. I need to make the most of my remaining time (I’m at that point in my year, where there is light at the end of the tunnel), and I feel like I’ve gained more perspective.

I’ve gained more perspective in another important aspect of my year here as well. As I told you in my last newsletter, I went on a youth/confirmation retreat trip in the beginning of May to Gerlachov (a small village about 50 kilometers from Hybe, near the city of Poprad), in hopes of strengthening my relationships with the kids in the youth group. It has been a challenge during my time here, and after the trip I can honestly say that not much has really changed. I came back from the trip feeling so frustrated and disappointed, wanting so badly to connect with the teenagers (ages 13-18), but it just didn’t happen. I’m not really sure if I would be successful at connecting with teenagers in the U.S. in English, yet alone here in Slovak, because the age group is out of my comfort zone. I had a nice conversation with my mom about it, and she told me about her friends who are teachers, and their thoughts on connecting with their students: “You know, even if I only connect or help with one of them, I’m thankful for that and I feel like my time there was worth it.” I thought about that, and realized that my attitude needed to change. Yes, I struggle in my connections with the teenagers, but not with all of them. There are a few I can have conversations with, some that smile and/or say hi to me, some that I’ve been able to connect with in some way (even if it’s been only a small connection). I have discovered that it’s OK if I’m not close with all or many of them, and have found more joy in just the simple hello’s and smiles I share with a few of them. I’ve tried to have a more Christian-based mindset, to be thankful for each individual person and connection I’ve made, and be thankful for my situation, and what is has become. I will continue to attempt making connections with them, but instead of finding disappointment in the lack of, I’m finding more appreciation in good. There are a lot of really great kids in Hybe, in our church, and I look forward to any opportunity I get to build friendships with them.

On the flipside, I’ve had a ton of great times with the young kids of Hybe in May! My relationships with them seem to always get stronger, communication is always getting better, and I’m feeling more and more comfortable with our Children’s Choir (Zvoncek) and babysitting. I feel like I’ve really found my place in the community when it comes to the kids, and I enjoy them so much! There are also so many great young kids here, and I’m glad to have gotten so many opportunities (especially lately) to hang out with them and get to know them. I’m feeling more at home with my host family and in the community in general, and I think a big part of this feeling is because I finally know where I can best fit into Hybe; with the kids! I’m loving the time spent with all ages, but I just feel more at home with the little ones. My time in Hybe in the beginning was spent with all age groups, and I wasn’t quite sure exactly where my niche was, where I would be most useful, or where I would be able to build the strongest relationships. Now I feel at peace with my situation, and am excited about all of the fun summer adventures ahead!

In late-May, I had the AWESOME opportunity to go to the circus!! The CIRCUS!! I don’t know why I find this so crazy exciting, but I do! My host sisters had mentioned it a few weeks earlier that they could get discounted tickets, and that maybe we would go. MAYBE?! Let’s go!! What a great cultural experience…the circus! I’ve only been to a circus one other time in my life, and that was the Shrine Circus in 4th grade. I remember having a pretty great time there too, but most of what I remember is the glow stick necklaces whipping through my dark surroundings, and the Shrine Circus sippy souvenir cup I got (which I still have, by the way…that thing has an amazing lifespan). Anyways, I was quite excited for a foreign circus experience, but mostly just excited for the circus in general. Because who doesn’t love the circus?

I was even more excited when I found out that I was going with my sisters AND Debi and Sara! We get to go to the circus, and get to hang out with cute kids at the circus! I’d met Debi before, and knew who she was, but hadn’t really gotten a chance to hang out with her. She immediately yelled, “Ashley!” and grabbed for my hand, and started talking about her new jumper shirt that she was excited about wearing. Her and Sara both grabbed my hands, which made me feel pretty special! They both know my host sisters Katka and Janka much better, and they can actually talk with them, so their excitement in seeing and hanging out with me felt pretty great. They wanted to sit by me on the bus and we spent the whole bus ride talking about which animal words they knew in English, and they knew quite a few. Horse was their favorite, and we spent a bit practicing how to say that, and I practiced in Slovak too; “kon.”

The circus was set up in a big open field, blocked off by red trucks that said, “Circus Ales.” The circus was in an actual circus tent, a pretty decently sized red, white, and blue striped tent! We were standing in line for tickets, and I was bouncing around all wide-eyed, and I think my host sisters thought I was a bit crazy. I was more excited to see the circus than the 4 and 5 year olds. Janka told me that last year’s circus had been in Hybe (I was a bit surprised, because Hybe is so small), and that they had taken Sara and Debi then too. Sara had started crying almost instantly because she was scared of the animals, BUT I’m happy to report that she didn’t cry this year! (Although, she looked close for about the first 20 minutes.) Anyways, I had a great time! Such fun, and innocent fun, and TONS of kids everywhere laughing and smiling. We even ran into Marek and Radko (Zuzka’s boys) with their grandpa, and they looked like they were having a lot of fun too.

I think I would’ve had a pretty good time anyway, but watching the circus with Debi on my lap made it that much better! I got to hear and see her reactions to everything, and so many times she turned around with wide eyes to ask me questions. Let me tell you, with the exception of Easter services, I have never wanted to understand or be able to speak decent Slovak more! (I think I’m doing well and improving all the time, but still have SO much to learn.) When a cute little kid at the circus asks you questions, all excited, it’s SO frustrating not to be able to tell her things. I did understand parts of what she said, and a few times I didn’t have to tap Janka on the shoulder (every other time I did, so Janka could answer Debi’s questions). A few times I just nodded along and said, “Yeah? Good!” because I didn’t have the heart to break up her excitement with “Sorry, I don’t understand those words in Slovak.”

Debi really liked the horses and the ponies. The first act was 4 ponies running in circles together, and two of the ponies had monkeys riding them on the back. So funny! We both laughed. They had a dog performance, and this cute gray poodle dog started walking around on his hind legs, and I squealed a bit! Haha! Debi even turned around to laugh at me a bit; she probably thought I was a little crazy. They had ponies, horses, dogs, lamas, camels, snakes, and rabbits. I figured that this circus would have mostly animal tricks and shows, since it was in a tent outside and in a rural area, but they surprisingly had a LOT of gymnasts and acrobat acts! I was impressed. They had gymnasts swinging on ropes, tangling themselves in sheets and hanging from the ceiling in many positions, a girl juggling pins with her feet in crazy positions, and they even had a knife thrower! The knife thrower threw knives around his assistant’s body, against a board. I’d never seen this before. (It made me think of the classic “I Love Lucy” episode, where she’s in that position.) It was a bit unsettling though, actually, because the woman assistant at the board looked terrified! She didn’t look calm or collected, and wasn’t really composed, and just looked really nervous. Yikes! I was kind of glad when that part was finished, to be honest. Anyways, the entertainment was really amazing, and they had a lot of it! They had an acrobat team of three younger guys (I would guess mid 20’s), and they were fantastic! They made me nervous too, actually. (I’m thinking more about their safety, rather than how cool it is that the three of them are stacked and balanced on ladders. I think I’m getting old! Hehe.) They did a catapult event even, and they shot one of the guys (who was on STILTS!) into the air backwards, and he landed on a floor pad! Whoa. During intermission Debi and I danced a little bit in the bleachers while we were waiting for the second part, and she told me about how she hates cotton candy.

After the circus we went for ice cream, and then headed back home. Janka, Katka, and I stayed for dinner at the pastor’s house and ate langose with Debi and Sara. Almost all through dinner I made faces at Debi, and she made faces at me, and we tried to imitate each other’s faces, and make weird noises. It was great fun! (Once again, being able to do stupid things with my face pays off.) Our night at the circus is one of the funnest things I’ve done this year in Slovakia, hands down.

The next night, while I was at the parsonage for a Dorast youth group meeting, and the youth group was sitting outside in a big circle. We had finished the Bible study and were just talking, hanging out, and I noticed that Debi had come out of the house. Almost everyone was engrossed in conversation (in Slovak, so I really wasn’t too engrossed), and Debi was just standing on the side of the circle with a scared and intimidated look on her face. She didn’t really know anyone there (she doesn’t live in or near Hybe), and there were so many people, and I think she felt overwhelmed. After a minute I caught her glance and motioned for her to come over by me, and her nervous look turned into a huge smile and she started to run over to me. It was so sweet, and I’ll never forget it.

A few days after the circus that Debi is sick, and has a kidney disease, and that she has spent SO many days of her short life in the hospital. My friend told me about her, “She has been in the hospital so MUCH, but she never complains. She just hugs her teddy bear, suffers quietly and takes it like a trooper.” She will probably continue to have health problems throughout her whole life, maybe problems working, or having children, or who knows what else. This just breaks my heart, and I wish such a young, sweet kid didn’t have to suffer. Does God have a reason for this? I don’t know. But it’s situations like this that are so confusing, and make me wonder that exact question. My prayer request this time is that you prayer for Debi to be healthy, safe, and happy! She deserves it.

Some other random highlights from this month: We got new fish! Sampson and Delilalah are the new members of our family, big goldfish, and they’re quite cute! And speaking of new members of the family, my host mom’s nephew Peter and his girlfriend Lucia got engaged in mid-May! There has been a lot of excitement about the wedding, where it will be held, pictures, dresses, etc. We’ve had a few coffee gatherings here that have ended in my host sisters, Lucia, and their cousins running around the house shrieking in potential dresses. They will be getting married this fall, and everyone is thrilled about the big event. As I said before, the weather this month has been quite nice, and everyone has been enjoying more time outside. Everyone in the community has been working hard on their gardens and is enjoying being outdoors. I’ve spent some time helping Zuzka with her fence (sanding and repainting), and have taken some great walks with her boys and niece and nephew. One of her nephews, Oliver, is a student at Hybe in one of the classes I help with, and it’s been exciting to try and communicate with him outside of school (because he’s MUCH more willing and interested! I tell the teachers at school about it and they can hardly believe it). We’ve played badminton a few times in the parsonage yard, so I’m attempting to improve my skills (a bit unsuccessfully though, but good fun). I took a quick trip to Budapest with some of the other volunteers and did some sightseeing in the wonderful city. We celebrated Mother’s Day at our church with a youth choir performance, had some of the younger kids read a poem during the service, and then everyone gave their moms a fresh tulip. It was fun to be able to give my host mom something for Mother’s Day, and she really liked that I gave her one (and apparently a few people who saw it were moved, and said that they cried!). I went to a football (soccer) game, Hybe’s team against Vavrisovo’s team, and although we lost it was an enjoyable afternoon.

Thank you all for reading and waiting for this month’s newsletter, apologies for my tardiness! If you get a chance and are interested, please check out my blogspot page: ashleyrenslovak.blogspot.com. I’m very grateful for your support! Hope all is well and take care!

Love, Ashley



Photo Captions:

Photo 1: Samko and Sara, Pastor Grega's kids, at the Gerlachov Retreat
Photo 2: Ad’a (the pastor’s wife) and my host mom helping in the kitchen at the Gerlachov retreat
Photo 3: The whole group from the Gerlachov retreat; me, my host sister Janka, my host mom Jana, all of the kids, Pastor Stano and his wife Ad’a, and their kids

School Photos and I'm Off Again!

So June has gone by in a whirlwind! As I type this, (early morning) I am hours from my last day of school. I finished at the boy's school in Liptovsky Hradok last week, and tomorrow is my last day at the primary school in Hybe. I can't believe it! Today I was at school to help teach the 5th class (10 and 11 year olds) their last English class for the year. I think they are my favorite class (they're the youngest group) because they are so willing to participate, and have fun attitudes. I've enjoyed my classes with them very much. They presented my with two postcards at the end of class. One has photos of Hybe on it, and every student in the class signed their name on the back, and they wrote their class and school address in the "to" space because they want me to write to them next year. I definitely plan on it! :) The second post card has photos of the Catholic Church in town (because the 3 main girls who put this together are Catholic). I was really happy to get the cards. This same class also wrote me a Valentine's Day note back in February, telling me that they really like it when I come to class. So sweet! Although tomorrow is my last official day of class, I will be going back to the school to say goodbye again next Tuesday, because they asked me to. They're such good kids.

After class was over, all of the teachers gathered out in the backyard of the school to take a staff photo for the year. They take their photos the way we used to in elementary school, with everyone posed and a board in front with the year and class number listed. They insisted that I be in the photo with them, and that was very nice. After the staff photo, the oldest class I help with (9th class, 14 and 15 year olds) took their picture and asked me to be in it too! As we were taking the pictures, almost every student in the entire school was hanging out of the open windows, saying "SYR!" (cheese in Slovak) and talking and laughing. It was a chaotic scene, pretty funny. I can feel so much more energy with the kids this week, I can tell they're pretty excited for their summer holiday!

Tomorrow I'm off again to Kosice, probably for the last time. Our German volunteer friend, Linda, is leaving soon and it's time to say goodbye. We are also going to deliver the scrapbook that all of us volunteers made for our program coordinator, Danka. She was with us throughout this year, and now she is on maternity leave and finishing her job. So we will be stopping by to visit her for the last time and give her the memory book. These will be my first goodbyes here. It's a bit strange for me to think about, and I think I've mostly avoided thinking about saying goodbye up until this point. Hopefully it will be ok. Tonight while I was making travel arrangements for this weekend, and for next weekend, and as I was thinking about travels in the past weeks, I was a bit sad. I haven't seen my host family much in June, and I'm feeling a bit sad to leave them again, even if it's just for the weekend. Everyone has been working more, and out and about more because of the weather, and just generally busy with summer craziness. I hope summer doesn't go by too fast, and I can fully take advantage of every opportunity I have left to spend with them. Saying goodbye will be tough.

Also, today is my sister Katka's 21st birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATKA!!!!!! :-) Vsetko najlepsie k narodeninam!

Until next time,
Ashley

Little Debi and the Aleš Circus

I’m going to write about this amazing little girl named Debi. Her full name is Debora (our version is Deborah, pronounced a bit differently), and her nicknames are Deborka and Debi. I like to call her Debi. She is SO. CUTE. And I’m pretty sure she’s the sweetest 5-year old I’ve ever met. She is so smiley, so loving, and kind-spirited. She has this wide smile with a big gap in the front where she lost her teeth, and little baby teeth poking out on each side. Cute! Debi is Ada's (the pastor’s wife) niece. She has a twin sister, and Debi is the younger of her two daughters.

In late-May, I had the AWESOME opportunity to go to the circus!! The CIRCUS!! I don’t know why I find this so crazy exciting, but I do! My host sisters had mentioned it a few weeks earlier that they could get discounted tickets, and that maybe we would go. MAYBE?! Let’s go!! What a great cultural experience…the circus! I’ve only been to a circus one other time in my life, and that was the Shrine Circus in 4th grade. I remember having a pretty great time there too, but most of what I remember is the glow stick necklaces whipping through my dark surroundings, and the Shrine Circus sippy souvenir cup I got (which I still have, by the way…that thing has an amazing lifespan). Anyways, I was quite excited for a foreign circus experience, but mostly just excited for the circus in general. Because who doesn’t love the circus?

I was even more excited when I found out that I was going with my sisters AND Debi and Sara! We get to go to the circus, and get to hang out with cute kids at the circus! I’d met Debi before, and knew who she was, but hadn’t really gotten a chance to hang out with her. She immediately yelled, “Ashley!” and grabbed for my hand, and started talking about her new jumper shirt that she was excited about wearing. Her and Sara both grabbed my hands, which made me feel pretty special! They both know Katka and Janka much better, and they can actually talk with them, so their excitement in seeing and hanging out with me felt pretty great. They wanted to sit by me on the bus and we spent the whole bus ride talking about which animal words they knew in English, and they knew quite a few. Horse was their favorite, and we spent a bit practicing how to say that, and I practiced in Slovak too; “kon.”

The circus was set up in a big open field, blocked off by red trucks that said, “Circus Aleš.” The circus was in an actual circus tent, a pretty decently sized red, white, and blue striped tent! We were standing in line for tickets, and I was bouncing around all wide-eyed, and I think my host sisters thought I was a bit crazy. I was more excited to see the circus than the 4 and 5 year old. Janka told me that last year’s circus had been in Hybe (I was a bit surprised, because Hybe is so small), and that they had taken Sara and Debi then too. Sara had started crying almost instantly because she was scared of the animals, BUT I’m happy to report that she didn’t cry this year! (Although, she looked close for about the first 20 minutes.) Anyways, I had a great time! Such fun, and innocent fun, and TONS of kids everywhere laughing and smiling. We even ran into Marek and Radko (Zuzka’s boys) with their grandpa, and they looked like they were having a lot of fun too.

I think I would’ve had a pretty good time anyway, but watching the circus with Debi on my lap made it that much better! I got to hear and see her reactions to everything, and so many times she turned around with wide eyes to ask me questions. Let me tell you, with the exception of Easter services, I have never wanted to understand or be able to speak decent Slovak more! (I think I’m doing well and improving all the time, but still have SO much to learn.) When I cute little kid at the circus asks you questions, all excited, it’s SO frustrating not to be able to tell her things. I did understand parts of what she said, and a few times I didn’t have to tap Janka on the shoulder (every other time I did, so Janka could answer Debi’s questions). A few times I just nodded along and said, “Yeah? Good!” because I didn’t have the heart to break up her excitement with “Sorry, I don’t understand those words in Slovak.”

Debi really liked the horses and the ponies. The first act was 4 ponies running in circles together, and two of the ponies had monkeys riding them on the back. So funny! We both laughed. They had a dog performance, and this cute gray poodle dog started walking around on his hind legs, and I squealed a bit! Haha! Debi even turned around to laugh at me a bit; she probably thought I was a little crazy. They had ponies, horses, dogs, lamas, camels, snakes, and rabbits. I figured that this circus would have mostly animal tricks and shows, since it was in a tent outside and in a rural area, but they surprisingly had a LOT of gymnasts and acrobat acts! I was impressed. They had gymnasts swinging on ropes, tangling themselves in sheets and hanging from the ceiling in many positions, a girl juggling things with her feet in crazy positions, and they even had a knife thrower! The knife thrower threw knives around his assistant’s body, against a board. I’d never seen this before. (It made me think of the classic “I Love Lucy” episode, where she’s in that position.) It was a bit unsettling though, actually, because the woman assistant at the board looked terrified! She didn’t look calm or collected, and wasn’t really composed, and just looked really nervous. Yikes! I was kind of glad when that part was finished, to be honest. Anyways, the entertainment was really amazing, and they had a lot of it! They had an acrobat team of three younger guys (I would guess mid 20’s), and they were fantastic! They made me nervous too, actually. (I’m thinking more about their safety, rather than how cool it is that the three of them are stacked and balanced on ladders. I think I’m getting old! Hehe.) They did a catapult event even, and they shot one of the guys (who was on STILTS!) into the air backwards, and he landed on a floor pad! Whoa. During intermission Debi and I danced a little bit in the bleachers while we were waiting for the second part, and she told me about how she hates cotton candy.

After the circus we went for ice cream, and then headed back home. Janka, Katka, and I stayed for dinner at the pastor’s house and ate langose with Debi and Sara. Almost all through dinner I made faces at Debi, and she made faces at me, and we tried to imitate each other’s faces, and make weird noises. It was great fun! (Once again, being able to do stupid things with my face pays off.) Our night at the circus is one of the funnest things I’ve done this year in Slovakia, hands down.

The next night, while I was at the parsonage for a Dorast youth group meeting, and the youth group was sitting outside in a big circle. We had finished the Bible study and were just talking, hanging out, and I noticed that Debi had come out of the house. Almost everyone was engrossed in conversation (in Slovak, so I really wasn’t too engrossed), and Debi was just standing on the side of the circle with a scared and intimidated look on her face. She didn’t know almost anyone there (she doesn’t live in or near Hybe), and there were so many people, and I think she felt overwhelmed. After a minute I caught her glance and motioned for her to come over by me, and her nervous look turned into a huge smile and she started to run over to me. It was so sweet, and I’ll never forget it.


A few days after the circus I learned that Debi is sick, and has a kidney disease, and that she has spent SO many days of her short life in the hospital. A friend told me about her, “She has been in the hospital so MUCH, but she never complains. She just hugs her teddy bear, suffers quietly and takes it like a trooper.” She will probably continue to have health problems throughout her whole life, maybe problems working, or having children, or who knows what else. This just breaks my heart, and I wish such a young, sweet kid didn’t have to suffer. Does God have a reason for this? I don’t know. But it’s situations like this that are so confusing, and make me wonder that exact question. My prayer request this time is that you prayer for Debi to be healthy, safe, and happy! She deserves it.







Pictures (from top to bottom): Debi (blonde hair) and Sara at the circus, the outside of the Circus Ales, the inside of the circus tent, my host sisters (Janka on the left, Katka on the right), Debi, and Sara, after the circus and ice cream.

I've Lost the Ability to Speak English

Just wanted to inform you all that I may or may not be able to speak in English when I return back to the U.S. in August. The other day I said, “Thanks, I had really much fun.” A few other highlights of mine in the past few weeks, “This kind is expensiver,” “he is such a pesk” (an awkward combination of pesky and pest), and “it takes basicer math.” Also, the words “borrow” and “lend” have become interchangeable in my brain, and when asked to explain the difference between the two words (a friend at school asked)…I explained the meaning of the two words and incorrectly used them, exactly OPPOSITE of how they’re supposed to be used. I've recently spent time traveling with the other volunteers, and we spent quite a bit of time laughing at each other’s inability to speak coherently. Many of our comments or stories ended with, “WHAT did I just say???” It should be interesting to be back in the U.S. (And how am I supposed to interview for jobs…with a degree in ENGLISH…hoping to get a job writing or editing in ENGLISH…Oh man.)

Daniel Vosair

So I mentioned in a previous blog that a man from Hybe had died in early May.

I decided to attend the funeral and pay my respects. I attended the funeral with my host sister Katka, Starka, and Starka’s daughters (Elena and Alica). Daniel Vosiar was a member of the adult choir in church, the one I attended and helped with (playing piano at rehearsals) for a while. He was 59 years old. He was born and raised in Liptovsky Mikulas and worked there for a majority of his life. The church was packed with people (like 4 times the amount of people who show up to regular church services), so that was really nice to see. The altar and pulpit were covered with black cloths, and every single person there was dressed in black from head to toe. I had to borrow some things from Katka, including shoes.

Before we left for the funeral, I kept thinking, I SHOULD know what he looks like, and I’m sure I would recognize him right away, but I can’t remember what he looks like now. I started looking through some of my pictures from when my family visited, because we attended an adult choir practice and took a few snapshots. I asked Katka to help me find him, and she found him in one of my pictures. “Ah, that’s him!” But it’s only a picture of his backside. Katka starting running through the photo albums they have on their computer, trying to find him in pictures of community events. She found two others, besides the one I had; one was of the back of his head, and his head was cut off the top of the photo in the other. It was a bit frustrating and eery, and I never did see an actual photo of him. There was just something sad about that, because I wanted to remember him and keep him in my memory, but without pictures it’s so difficult to hang on to the memory of him. Without pictures, memories can fade so quickly. Although I’ll never really be sure, I think I do remember him. At the second or third rehearsal I attended, things were getting more comfortable and I was talking to the choir members a bit more. After we had finished for the evening (around 6 pm), a few of the older men came up to me and were joking around a bit, trying to speak with me, and one was like, “Ok, we should go have wine now! Let’s all go have some wine! Come on!” And he was smiling and jabbing me in the shoulder, and he really wanted me to join the old guys for some wine. He was pretty jolly and friendly. This is the memory he will hold in my mind, whether or not it was actually him. I just wish I could remember what he looked like.

We used a special type of Spevnik (the Spevnik is the traditional book of worship for Slovak Evangelicals), used especially for funeral occasions. It was quite interesting. It’s a small black book with hymns, and the hymns are divided into different sections. The section used is specific to that person and/or how they passed (for example tragedy, old age, in battle, if they were children, etc). The service itself was quite formal, and there was very minimal crying. I think their perception of death is that it is very natural, a part of life, and it is less…emotional? (for lack of a better word…). I think that all humans, regardless of culture, mourn death, but I believe that some cultures individualize death more than others. (Remember, this is only my opinion, and an opinion formed on a service where I couldn’t understand words…). It felt like these people were dealing with his death in a very “matter of fact” type way. It felt like they were acknowledging him as an individual person, of course, but that they were also going through a traditional routine, acting with minimal emotion (on the outside, and keeping their emotions on the inside) and having another ceremony to acknowledge death in general. I hope you can follow my thoughts on this; it’s a bit difficult for me to explain.

At the end of the service, as the organ played loudly, Pastor (Pan Ferrar in Slovak) led everyone outside and onto the street. All of the people present at the funeral walked in a procession line down the main street of Hybe, about half a mile, to the cemetery. When we arrived at the cemetery, everyone one gathered in or around the Smutko Dom (the “sad house”). There is a smutko dom at every cemetery in Slovakia, and it is where Daniel was laying. Another interesting thing about the service itself at the church is that Daniel’s body wasn’t present. It was in the smutko dom, which is a small, wooden, chapel-type building with pews and a small front altar. Throughout the funeral day, the body of the person being mourned is put in the smutko dom, and then all of those who wish to are able to come and see him. (The situation is like our wake, except this is only on the same day as the funeral, and it doesn’t take place at a funeral home. Funeral homes don’t exist here.) The smutko dom was jam packed, and the rest of us circled around the open doorways and once again pulled out our books to sing. After about another half hour of hymns, prayers, and words from the pastor, the pallbearers carried Daniel’s closed casket out to the hearse, which was waiting at the cemetery gates. Once the casket was put inside, we continued to sing around the hearse for another 15 minutes or so. I was quite confused while this was going on, wondering where they would take his body, on his funeral day, other than to his gravesite. I was informed later that he was being taken to the crematorium to be cremated, and that he would later be brought back to the cemetery to be buried at his plot. I guess the casket only serves the purpose of presentation for the body during it’s time spent in the smutko dom.

After Daniel was taken away, some people left, but most of the people started walking through the cemetery. I guess this is the time that everyone visits their loved ones buried in the same cemetery. On the way to the Turcanova family’s gravesites, Katka and I had a big discussion about what was going on. She was helpful and explained a lot to me, and she also taught me new funeral words in Slovak. “Pohreb” is funeral, “hrob” is grave, and “kazet” is casket. On our trip through the cemetery, I was shown the gravesites of Starka’s parents, Starka’s brother, Starka’s husband, and Elena’s husband. We stopped at each for a bit, and Starka, Elena, and Alica spent a decent amount of time ripping dandelions and weeds out of each plot to make them look nicer. Each gravesite (or at least each one that I’ve seen) has it’s own individual platform base, or box around the border, and many real flowers and plants can be planted within the boxes. Anyways, it was a nice experience, and it made me feel closer to them and like I was a part of the family. It especially helped with Starka, because some days I just get so frustrated with her. Seeing her silently visit her family’s gravesites, and my being able to see the graves myself and learn about who they were, helped me to see Starka as more of a real person. That sounds a bit strange, but there are times when I just get caught up with “the crabby old lady that lives in our house” or “the lady that barks at me about how I don’t eat enough food,” and I forget that she has this past. She has a past, her life, where so many of the people she loved were alive and she was young and vibrant. It’s especially difficult to see her as a person at times because I can’t REALLY understand her personality from the words she says, and I can’t ask her about her past experiences, or ask her about her family. I like to think she had a similar moment of realization when my family came to visit. Like she saw more depth to me, and I wasn’t just “this weird silent American girl who lives in their house” or “this girl who makes her crazy because she doesn’t eat enough.” She was able to understand a bit more about me by meeting my family, and just by being reminded that I DO have a family, and a life she doesn’t really know about.

We all went for a short walk after our time in the cemetery together, and then we headed to Elena’s house for coffee. And there, Starka proceeded to bark at me about how I should put sugar in my coffee, and that I SHOULD eat more cakes and cookies. But this time I didn’t mind so much, and it felt a bit different.

So I’ve gotten a bit sidetracked…and back to the point of this entry…I have a prayer request. Please say a prayer for the family and friends of Daniel Vosair. May he rest in peace.